Bummers and Blessings

Things have been rough the past couple of days. I'll start with my Grandpa. I posted earlier about how he had 3 surgeries on his gallbladder and to remove a gallstone last week. I forgot to update last weekend and let you know that his last surgery (which was slightly risky) went very smoothly, and he was supposed to get out of the hospital 5 days afterward. I believe today was day 3 or 4. Well I got a call from my mom this afternoon, and found out that during physical therapy this morning, my grandpa had a stroke. This is his second stroke...he had one about a year ago. But they had to rush him to another hospital. They said it might have been brought on by the stress of the surgeries. But we're just all very worried about him. He needs prayer. I do have one blessing to report from the situation: after the stroke, he seemed to be paralyzed on his left side. Luckily, after awhile the feeling came back to him. He loves to work outside and has a beautiful garden (he used to own a floral/nursery business). It would have been awful if the stroke had caused any paralysis.

If you could say a little prayer for him if you think about it, that would be wonderful! He's been through a lot this year. In addition to all of this, he also had heart problems that were discovered the day before my wedding. He had to miss the wedding because he was in the hospital having surgery to have a pacemaker put in. He was so upset to miss the wedding, and the situation was the only cloud in an otherwise perfect wedding day. I just feel bad for the poor guy. I hope he heals quickly!

Okay, I've got another bummer. I had a little bit of an emotional moment yesterday. Luke's been very busy lately, and hasn't spent a whole lot of time with me. I've been struggling with loneliness a lot lately, too. I had a bad day yesterday, and Luke was too busy working in the yard to spend any time with me when he got home, and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I just began to sob while he was outside. I'm not really a needy or high maintenance wife (at least I don't think I am!) so this was a big deal. When Luke came in I told him that I just really needed to be with him and spend time with him that night.

Okay, now for the blessing part :-) Luke saw that I had been crying, and that I was genuinely needing him, so he dropped everything. I had pretty much exhausted myself with my melt-down, so after our dinner of spaghetti, we decided to forget all of our obligations, and just spend the night relaxing together. We cuddled up under the blanket upstairs, and watched "Modern Marvels - Walt Disney World" together. It was 2 hours long, but we were totally into it. It's a good one! lol...Luke loves "Modern Marvels", and I love Disney World, so it was a good choice. It was just nice to focus on spending time together, it didn't really matter what we were doing. After that, we both fell asleep watching Sports Center (No wonder we fell asleep :-P) It was such a blessing. I feel totally different about life in general today (my love language is quality time, just in case you were wondering. ha!)

Okay, time for some pictures since the rest of this post is pretty long and wordy! Today I had a fun time grocery shopping. I'm trying to introduce a lot more fruits, veggies, and natural foods into our diets. I spent a lot of time in the produce section today! Here is our weekly menu. I tried to make it a little more natural and "homemade" than normal! It's probably too small to read unless you click on it, but oh well! I just like the paper that I wrote it on. I found a book full of this paper at Walmart for less than $6! It's actually scrapbook paper, but I'll probably just use it for memos and notes. It's too cute!

And I decided to make a snack that was "healthy." I made my own trail mix with mixed nuts, pretzels, and m&ms. I know I'm fooling myself here, guys. It's full of fat, chocolate and sugar. But it just seems healthier than the oreos or chocolate bars I usually eat way too many of! Hey, it's a step in the right direction, right?

Of course it's in one of Luke's huge Ohio State bowls. I really need to buy some prettier bowls! lol...we're newlyweds, what do you expect? :-P

Well I think I'll go and try to finish "The Other Boleyn Girl." It's due back at the library on Friday along with "The Atonement Child." I want to finish them so I can get some fresh, new books!

Thank you for your prayers for my grandpa. It means so much to have people I've never even met before praying for him. God bless you all :-)

Going Bananas

I decided I'd make banana chocolate chip muffins tonight so that Luke and I can grab one quickly and eat it before work in the mornings.

They look like chocolate chip cookies! Any breakfast food that includes chocolate is right up my alley!

Gabby likes to sneak up on the waste basket and watch me bake. I caught her mid-blink

The muffins turned out pretty good, and it will be one less thing I have to worry about in the morning. I'm just crossing my fingers that Luke likes them...he can be pretty picky!

I went to a nutrition class at the women's retreat at my church on Saturday. It really inspired me, and made me realize I've been putting lots of really bad foods in my body for awhile now. And in Luke's body! I'm really going to try to bring a LOT more fruits, vegetables, beans (not from a can!), and nuts into our diets. Those are pretty much the best things for our bodies. Of course, meat is important too, but in smaller portions than the fruits and veggies.

I feel like it is my responsibility to feed myself, Luke, and our future children, the most natural diet that I can. I don't think God intended for us to eat chemicals in our food when he created the earth! So tomorrow I'm armed with the task of grocery shopping in a completely different way than normal. I'm actually excited! It means no more mac&cheese or Hamburger Helper, so it will take a lot more effort in the kitchen, but this is one more way I can serve in my home :-) Plus Hamburger Helper is kind of disgusting.

On another note, our fire pit is complete, and we had our first bonfire last night! Here are some highlights:

Here I am building my first fire ever! I said I had never done it before, so they let me have the honors.

Success!

Everybody brought their puppies! Here's Molly:

And my sister-in-law, Maria brought her Great Dane puppy. Calypso (Cali) is 13 weeks old and 40 lbs! I think she's winking at me :-)
My neighbor's dog, Lexie, also made an appearance. I did not get a picture of her though.

Look how closely the guys are huddling to the fire. Perhaps it was still a little too cold for a bonfire. But we were too excited, and just couldn't wait!

I always talk about my cousin Rachel who is also one of my best friends AND my next door neighbor. This is her, in case you ever wondered what she looks like! She was telling an animated story, no doubt. All of our lives she has made up for my shy-ness with her outgoing-ness. Polar opposites often make great friends, don't they?

And Luke and I managed to snap a picture together at the end of the evening. We had to capture our first outdoor memory of 2009! And the first outdoor activity at our new house...we moved in in November, and haven't had much time to enjoy our teeny, tiny yard yet!

Here's to hoping for lots and lots of nights like this. With food, fun, friends, and puppies! Have a fabulous Monday evening :-D

Forfeited Peace and Needless Pain

What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer
Oh, what peace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer.

We are reading a book about prayer in my Sunday School class. The chapter we were reading today contained the lyrics from the song written above. I've heard this song probably 500 times in my life, but today is the first time I've ever really listened to and thought about the lyrics. It's so true! How often do we worry and stress and forfeit our peace about things? If we just surrender our needs and worries to God through prayer, we would find peace, and he will bear our pain for us.

This old hymn has been stuck in my head since we talked about it this morning in class. It's been wonderful to be reminded of God's promises today. If there's something you're struggling with today, let go and let God.

Enjoy your Sunday :-)

Girls Just Wanna Have FUN!

Today was the women's retreat at my church. It was the best one I've ever been to! So much "fun." The theme for the day was F.U.N: Faith, Unity, Never giving up. They even had cute folders and name tags for us:

When we got there at 8:30 (not loving the fact that I had to get up early on Saturday!) they had a wonderful breakfast of fruit, muffins, and tea or coffee. Then we had our first session..."Faith." The speakers were two women from a nearby church, and they were hilarious!

After that we had our first elective. We had to pick 3 electives out of a group of about 12. I picked cupcake decorating for my first one. We all made sunflower cupcakes, because sunflowers always move to follow the sun, and we should always move to follow the SON (it went along with the faith theme). It ended up being very easy, and I thought it turned out so cute!

It looked much better when I had first finished it. It got a little banged up in the box on the ride home. The ladybug is made out of a red m&m, and it's my favorite part! Michelle, the woman who led the class, gave us bunches of great tips. She showed us how to flatten icing to make it look like fondant. This is her secret tip, and I'm sharing it with you, so you should feel lucky ;-) You just frost the cupcake or cake, and then set a Viva paper towel on top. lightly run your finger back and forth on top of the paper towel, and it makes it PERFECTLY smooth. It has to be Viva paper towel on the smoothest side, because that brand is not textured. Also, she told us how to make tasty fake fondant (the real stuff doesn't always taste too great). She said you just melt marshmallows, and then add lots of powdered sugar. It gives you the same texture as fondant, but tastes much better! She totally inspired me, and got me very interested in cake decorating.

Next was our second elective. I chose the nutrition class. I was absolutely floored by some of the things I learned. Lets just say I plan to be much more careful and aware of what I put in my body. Did you know that it takes 100 days for your body to totally digest trans fat?! Gross! One of the best tips the nutritionist taught us was to only buy from the outside aisle of the grocery store. That's where all the natural stuff is with nothing added. She also said that organic IS better for you. I've always wondered if it really made a difference, or if it was just a passing fad.

After the nutrition class was lunch. I had to forget everything I learned in the nutrition class for a few minutes so I could eat the delicious food! Ha! Men from the church completely planned, prepared and cleaned up both breakfast and lunch. They did a great job! For lunch they prepared 3 bars: A salad bar, a potato bar, and an ice cream bar! I tried my first sweet potato today at the potato bar. Someone told me a long time ago that they were gross, so I just never tried them. Well, I'm glad I did today, because it was completely delicious! I plan on picking some up at Giant Eagle on Monday :-)

Next was our second session: Unity, and then our final elective class. For my last class I chose the movie room. My mom was in charge of this room, and she said she'd be mad if I didn't go to her class (jokingly, of course). We watched an Anita Renfroe video. If you don't know, she's a HILARIOUS Christian comedian. The video we watched today was about pregnancy and childbirth. Very funny, but definitely made me a little worried about actually going through that someday!!

Lastly we had our final session: Never give up. This was a very powerful one. They encouraged everyone to write down on a card the one thing in our life that caused them the most pain. We brought our cards up to the alter to symbolize giving them up to God. Then the speakers read and prayed over the cards. (don't worry, it was all anonymous). I had written down "loneliness" on my card, because I have struggled with this a lot. To hear how many other women wrote down the same thing made me feel so NOT alone. It was very emotional and very freeing to know that God can take our struggles from us so that we don't have to worry about them.

Now I'm planning on taking a nap while Luke's outside creating a patio for our grill (pictures to come later!) It was such a great day of fun and fellowship with some amazing women. I was glad that a few of my friends came today too...I'm always worried it's going to be me and 70 middle-aged-or-older women. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it just makes me feel a little awkward, and very young! But there were lots of younger women there today.

On the agenda for tonight is our 40 Days of Purpose Bible study and probably a movie at home with Luke after that. Have I mentioned how much I love weekends?!

Oh!!! I almost forgot! I found out some great news at lunch today! It's no secret that I haven't been real happy with my job lately. Well I was talking to my senior pastor's wife today (an amazing Christian woman, and a dear, dear friend). She is also a teacher, but she works at a Christian school. She told me what they pay subs today and I think my eyes almost popped out of my head. It's a lot...a lot more than any other school district I've heard of! So the plan is to sub there and at a few other schools in my area unless I get a full time teaching position. I've never been in a Christian school environment, and can't wait to sub there to see what it's like!

Finally I'm done. My posts end up being so long, I just have a hard time not talking!! As much as I talk, I wonder if people realize how extremely shy I am in person!

Goodbye Winter, Hello Spring!

Wow, 2 posts a day, 2 days in a row! What has gotten into me?! Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Luke is out to see a movie with the guys tonight, and I'm left here alone. Mom and Julie were going to come over for a movie, but may not be able to now due to a change of plans.

I was a little bummed at the prospect of spending a Friday night all alone. But I decided I'd make it fun. Since it's officially the first day of spring (never mind the fact that it's 33 degrees right now!) I decided I would wipe out every trace of winter from my home, and replace it with spring things.

Goodbye, winter paraphernalia!
I don't have a lot of spring items for my house. I didn't have a house to decorate at this time last year! But I added a few things today that made me think of spring, making do with what I have.

I showed you this cute spring sign the other day. It is above our table. Today I replaced our dark green table cloth there with this brown one, and replaced our bright yellow bowl that I was using as a catch-all with this springy Longaberger basket. I had a bunch of pink and brown ribbon left over from my wedding, so I tied a little one around the top of the basket for a subtle, added touch. I feel like the mood in this small space has completely changed!
I'm obsessed with Longaberger! The basket was definitely a wedding gift, though. I'm not one to drop $50 to $100 on a basket this size! Or any basket for that matter :-P
I was sick of walking across the kitchen to grab a spoon out of my over-stuffed Pampered Chef utensil holder (not sure of the technical name!) when I needed one quickly. So I put a few spoons in this inexpensive vase from Wal Mart, and placed it right between the stove and the sink. I took some more pink and brown ribbon left over from the wedding and tied it in the middle. Practical, and springy with the light pink ribbon! P.S. Notice the plastic on the window in the background. One thing I HATE about living in an old drafty house during the winter!
I replaced my pink apron that was hanging on my refrigerator with this one. It reminds me of springtime and gardening. It desparately needs to be ironed! I got it as a shower gift last June and have not used it yet because I think it's so pretty I don't want to get it dirty! Also, note the cute "Don't bug me" sign with the ladybug. One of my students got it for me. I didn't have the heart to put it on my desk at work...it seems mean telling my students not to bug me, even if it is a pun! But in the kitchen I thought it was cute.
Of course I still have my canister full of jelly beans on the kitchen table:
And finally, I thought I'd share this future project with you. I bought this old piano bench at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore in town last fall. It was very inexpensive, and I just knew I could use it somewhere. It doesn't look right there in the bedroom. I had a table cloth on it, but it still didn't look great. I've decided I want to make a little cushion for the top by attaching some batting, cute fabric, and maybe some buttons to it. Then I plan on painting it, probably white(the walls in there are actually a dark tannish color. My camera washes everything out, so they look white here). Not sure, I think I'll ask my sister, the interior design student and color wizard, for her opinion on the color. Either way, it will be cute and functional. Since it's a piano bench, it obviously opens up to a secret storage area for books and magazines! Here are the "BEFORE" photos. I'm hoping to finish it in the next week or two.

Take 1:
Take 2:
Gabby follows me around the house, and sometimes it is quite difficult to take a picture without her in it!

Well I'm glad to blog about something that's more fun than my recent posts have been! No more blogging about work for awhile, I've decided!

Well I just got a call from Mom, and she and Julie officially will not be able to make it tonight. Looks like it's just me and Gabby! I'm glad I checked out the movie "No Reservations" from the library tonight. The two of us (meaning Gabby and me) will probably fall asleep in Luke's comfy recliner while watching it. Ahh, sweet relaxation :-)

Discovery

TGIF

(I'm sitting here wondering where spring is. It was supposed to make an appearance for the first time today! And I'm glad that it has showed up a few days before now, but it seems to be hiding today, and letting winter have one last hurrah! At least the sun's shining, but there are definitely no spring temperatures going on out there).

I discovered something between yesterday and today. When I posted about my day yesterday, it opened my eyes! That's why I love blogging so much...it can make me discover things about myself. So here's the big discovery that I've been denying until now:

I HATE my job. Absolutely, without a doubt. I've been lying to myself about it for a few months now.

I hate being pushed around and walked all over by everybody.

I hate getting paid as an aide when I'm doing the job of a teacher.

I hate sharing a room with the most pessimistic, narcissistic woman that I have ever met. I mean seriously, she's got problems. She's also a complusive liar among other things.

I've been lying to myself for awhile now. Last year I didn't get taken advantage of as much, and enjoyed my job a lot more. But I finally realize, that I really hate it now. I've also been telling myself that maybe this is just where God wants me, and he wants me to suffer because we aren't supposed to be comfortable or happy all the time. I tried to make myself like it, and tell others that I like it. I pretended to love a lot of my co-workers. The truth is, there are only a select few that I really respect and feel close to.

As I wrote yesterday's post, my eyes were opened. I felt down and depressed all evening. I laid on the couch and fell asleep at 9:30 because I was just feeling so down. I woke up at 11:30, took a shower and got in bed and sobbed. I just didn't feel like I could get through one more day this week. At least not with a good attitude. I prayed that God would lead me, and that he would be with me Friday (today). I even prayed for an easy day today, although I felt a little guilty while doing it. It's just really exhausting and hard to work a job every single day that you absolutely hate.

God answered my prayers! Every once in awhile, our school has a really hard time finding subs. When that happens, I get pulled from my aide position and I sub for the day. Last year when this happened I would get angry that they were taking me from my everyday job. This morning when Mary (secretary) told me I'd be subbing in a third grade classroom, I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. That's when I really realized how much I'd started to hate my job. But God did what I had selfishly asked last night: he gave me an easy day. I had such a great time with the third grade class I was with. It was refreshing, and made me realize that I really DO love teaching, I just HATE being everyone's slave. And it was also good, because Mrs. C (the lady I share a room with and pretty much work for) almost couldn't get through the day without me. I thought maybe she'd finally realize how much I really do help her while I'm there. And that she maybe relies on me a little too much, and takes advantage of me a little bit.

I think since I have the weekend to regroup, have fun, and REST, I will be a little more able to face the world on Monday. We only have 10 weeks of school left. I feel a peace from God that I can leave this job. I don't feel that it's where he wants me anymore. I really don't think that God wants us to WILLINGLY suffer for no good reason. And that's what I've been doing these past few months.

On the agenda for this weekend (if I find time to post...which we all know I probably will!):
-Some pictures! My posts have been seriously lacking them lately!
-Update on my grandpa's surgery. They actually pushed it back until today (it was supposed to be yesterday). Apparently, it's kind of a risky surgery to remove the gallstone, because they have to work around lots of delicate, vital organs. My mom told me that last night and I wish she hadn't. I've been a ball of stress every since. And I think that might have also been part of the reason I cried myself to sleep last night.
-Recap of the women's retreat at my church that I'm attending tomorrow. I can't wait, it should be so much fun!

Attitude Adjustment

My goodness, I complained a lot in my last post! I need to be thankful that I have a job, and not be so annoyed by everything! It's true that I do feel a little taken advantage of at work, but I only have 10 more weeks there. I won't be returning next year (I've already prayed about it, discussed it with Luke, and have decided this is my last year at my current school). So I need to have a better attitude and try to serve God while I'm there. If it's bad, it will just make me appreciate next year even more, no matter where I end up!

That's all...I hate posting twice in one day, so I'll keep it short!