Remember how just the other day, this resilient little plant broke through the stones in the bottom of the jar and I was amazed?
Well check it out two days later
I don't know what it is about this little plant, but I've somehow wrapped my whole identity into it. I was skeptical that it would grow, and there it goes, flourishing despite the circumstances. (Okay, so my mom used to be a florist and my grandparents owned a flower shop and landscaping company for most of their lives. And yet I know basically nothing about plants. I didn't know tulips could grow up through stones...I thought it had to be some sort of rich soil or something.)
Yesterday I was making the long trip to school at 6:50 AM. And I just stopped fighting. I stopped worrying about my circumstances. I finally chose to believe that God has a huge plan in the big mess I feel I'm in (possibly wasting tons of money and a year of my life taking these classes and then never getting into grad. school...not having a baby...feeling depressed...you name it. It's been a couple of rough weeks).
I guess I just see my little Tulip as a gift from God, showing me that if He cares enough to make the Tulips grow, how much more does He care to make me grow?
And I'm not sure...but I think God helped me break through my own set of stones on my drive to school yesterday. I'm feeling so free today with the understanding that I don't need to control my circumstances, and that my circumstances don't define me.
I just needed a little reminder.
"What if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near?
What if trials in this life are your mercies in disguise?"