Some of our friends from church had their first little baby girl yesterday. She's so precious! At least she looks it form the Facebook pictures I saw ;-) Those pictures paired with the fact that I dream about either A.) Being pregnant or B.) Having a baby practically every night, are the reasons for this post. (Trust me, I hold back with the amount that I talk about babies. There's a constant daydream going on in the back of my mind about my future pregnancies and babies all. the. time. Constantly. Not kidding).
Today I'm thinking about how awesome it is that God has placed such a deep desire for children in the heart of most women. Not all, I'm sure, but most. (Good thing we do have that deep desire, because who in their right mind would go through so much TORTURE to bring a human being into the world if we didn't have that desire?!)
Case in point: I have been asked by most of the little girls I teach "Do you have kids?" or "When are you going to have kids?" Seeing that I am a woman who looks to be about child-bearing age, that is the first thing they want to know about me. So even little 8-11 year old girls have that curiosity and wonder about babies and little children. I very rarly, if ever, have gotten asked that question by boys.
I have always liked babies. When I was little, my Barbies would rarely get taken out of the "Barbie Drawer" we had. I was too busy playing with my baby dolls. I had so many! Dolls that ate and cried and talked...even baby dolls who made dirty diapers :-P (Eww...) My favorite baby was my "Water Baby." Who else had one? Apparently the fact that she was filled with water made her feel more like a real baby (???) Unfortunately she died when her stomach somehow got ripped in half :-P Water babies may be lifelike (ummm, although this point could probably be aruged!!) But they are easily broken!
(18 years later, she is kind of creepy to me for some reason :-P Found this picture online)
Anyway, I am getting way off track here. Back to women and our desire for babies.
I've always loved babies, but had never thought much about having my own until we got married. It was probably a few weeks after the honeymoon when the deeeep desire for a baby hit. I can literally remember the day. I was watching the first episode of "17 Kids and Counting" and Michelle Duggar was talking about all of her children, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Hey, I could have a kid now if I really wanted to! And all of a sudden, I WANTED TO. Did it happen for anyone else this way? You got married and then immediately wanted a baby, like, yesterday??
Honestly, I really didn't think I would be this way. I was sooo good about being patient for Luke to propose to me. I never once hounded him or nagged him about it. And I wasn't feeling impatient for it at all. I thought it would be the same way with a baby. I wouldn't want one right away. I would probably wait a few years, and then Luke and I would both start naturally wanting one at the same time.
It did NOT happen like that! I think I have done a pretty good job in the past two years keeping the yearning at bay. I'm sure I've been annoying to Luke about it a few times, but I don't think I've been too overwhelmingly obnoxious. I have blogged about it a lot, but not toooo, too much. Blogging is actually just a nice outlet to let go of some of these feelings and send them out into the great blogosphere where I know sooooo many other women are going through the same thing and having the exact. same. feelings. (Who's with me??)
Anyway, it's just really weird how the yearning just came on me like a hunger almost. It's almost like a NEED. Like eating and sleeping and breathing. Okay, I'm being a little melodramatic, but you get the picture :-)
So until the time when I can actually realize this dream, I will just blog about it whenever it is heavily on my mind. I will probably look back on this someday when I have three or four kids running around and think I was crazy. I will probably be wishing that I had enjoyed this phase of life more, and not wished it away! So now that I let this off my chest, I'm pushing these baby thoughts back to that corner of my mind where they constantly reside, and I'm going to enjoy today. I'm going to finish some laundry and dishes, then take a nice long shower, then watch my shows, and then fall into a deeeep sleep which will last about seven hours, uninterrupted. It is kind of nice not to have a little human life depending on me for everything. At least when it comes to long hours of uninterrupted sleep ;-)