When I thought about pregnancy, I thought about the extreme joy I would feel for 9 straight months. I knew that morning sickness wouldn't even lessen that joy, and the pregnancy endorphins would be enough to get me through. I thought I would have the "pregnancy glow," and that I'd have a cute bump.
But here are my top 10 truths about pregnancy:
- In the midst of nonstop morning sickness, you will forget that you're even pregnant, and just wonder if you're going to survive. You will call your mom crying a few times a week, just to say, "this isn't as much fun as I thought it would be!"
- You will go into a fatigue-induced daze for about 12 weeks. You'll want to sleep 20-hours a day, and you won't get anything done.
- You will have at least 1 doctor's appointment where you cry on the way home because you gained an insane amount in just 4 weeks. You'll try to convince yourself that your clothes must weigh 8 lbs.
- You'll get more bumps than just the baby bump. In my case, some of those bumps were good things, and some were bad. Is it possible the baby's feet are just pushing my butt out?
- You won't always feel like that cute pregnant lady you thought you would.
- The pregnancy "glow" is from being a human oven and sweating 24 hours a day.
- You will probably pee yourself at least once. Make sure never to sneeze with a full bladder. I may or may not be speaking from experience.
- One day you'll look down and think you're looking at someone else's feet. You'll gasp as you realize those ogre feet are your own.
- Your body will get you ready for those middle-of-the-night feedings a few months early by conveniently not letting you sleep more than a few hours a night
- You'll want to put a sleeping bag and pillow on the bathroom floor in the third trimester, because you spend more time walking to and from the bathroom than you spend in your bed.
And then you'll lay down at the end of a long day, you'll feel the typical baby yoga that you notice every time you sit or lay still. A foot will be lodged in your ribs, and an arm will be pushing your belly out over and over, and a blissful happiness will wash over your entire being. She's saying, "Hi mom! I'm still in here, and I can't wait to meet you already!" And then you'll know it's all worth it. All of the things I listed become so trivial. Even the 2.5 years spent waiting in heartbreak before her existence seem like nothing. Who could have ever known you could love someone this much without even meeting them?
As I approach labor and delivery, one of the events that I've been nervous about my entire life, it's easy to worry and FREAK OUT. But I've made myself stop thinking about the pain, and start thinking about the first moment I'll lay eyes on my daughter. I cry every time I think about it. I know it will be the best moment of my life. And again, all the pain, symptoms, and WAITING will be totally worth it.
So no, pregnancy is not as easy as I thought it would be. And quite frankly, I complain about it much more than I should, and much more than I ever swore I would. But it's only because I lose sight of the end result. As soon as I think about Scarlett, my whole perspective changes. I feel like this will be the trend for the rest of my life.