Convictions

I've been debating for awhile if I should post about this or not, because it's kind of pushing the thin "TMI" line. But I really feel like I want to share an experience I've gone through in the past few months. But this is just my TMI disclaimer...if you're a male, you may not want to read this! (Although I think that Luke and JC are the only guys who occasionally read my blog! Oh, and my dad).

Last summer Callie over at "Through Clouded Glass" shared a post about the birth control pill (which I shall from here on refer to as bc). In a nutshell, she explained that one effect of bc is that it thins the lining of your uterus, making it impossible for a fertilized egg to implant. Therefore, causing it to die. I believe that life begins at the moment of conception, and my pro-life convictions are so strong, I just felt wrong taking a pill that would make it impossible for a baby to survive in my body. I could feel God tugging at my heart on the issue. And what did I do? I disobeyed. I took it into my own hands, and decided that my life is just easier with the bc pill. I ignored my convictions, and just went on with my life. Bad idea! You should never ignore the Lord when you know for a fact that He is trying to tell you something!

Fast forward to last fall. I was sick on and off from September - December. It was MISERABLE. I missed work, parties, even a young adult retreat weekend. I made multiple trips to the doctor, and they never did figure out what was wrong. I couldn't really eat anything, and was losing weight (the only up side. ha!) I would get cramps that were so horrible I felt like my stomach was on fire and in a vice...at the same time :-P. I remember one night lying on the bathroom floor for a few hours, shaking and vomiting just from the pain. I seriously thought I was dying that night! (I'm a little melodramatic when it comes to pain). And I can't even imagine labor being worse than that, although I'm sure it is!

Since my doctor was no help, I decided I would try to diagnose myself. I did a lot of research and I'm obviously not sure about this, but I believe that I have some type of Inflamatory Bowel Disease (IBD): either Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis. Every single symptom checks out, and I would almost bet that that's what it was. I promised myself that the next time I had a flare up, I would rush to my doctor ASAP and ask to see a gastroenterologist for a colonoscopy (As absolutely HORRIBLE as that would be!)

Somewhere toward the end of my last flare up, I found something interesting in my research. I found that the bc pill has been found to possibly trigger the onset of Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis in already susceptible women. I decided the stop taking the bc pill, just to see what would happen.

I finally stopped taking the pill. Slowly, the cramps and pains that I was having EVERY time I ate got less and less severe (I was having these pains 100% of the time, whether I was having a real flare-up or not). It was very gradual, but one day I noticed that the pains were completely gone. I never did have to call the doctor, because I haven't had a flare-up since I figured out what I think I have.

The week after Christmas was when I started feeling completely better. Since then I have eaten anything I've wanted (fried foods, dairy, fruits and vegetables...these things would have made me miserable, and probably would have kept me up all night back when I was sick) and not only have I not had any flare ups, but I haven't felt so much as a touch of the cramps that had become SOO familiar every single time I ate anything.

So my lesson in all this? I really think that me getting sick was a kick in the butt from God! I didn't listen the first time when He told me I need to stop taking the bc pill. So he had to do something that would get my attention. I will never take the bc pill again. Not only because I really do think that the hormones and chemicals in the pill are what caused me to become so sick, but also because if I believe that life begins at conception, it is very hypocritical of me to be causing my body to be unable to support a fertilized egg.

So if God is gently nudging you about something today, don't ignore it! It will not be fun if He has to do something drastic to get your attention!

{For the record, although I'm not taking the pill anymore, Luke and I still aren't ready to have a baby...just in case anyone is wondering. Also, I have to admit that I have felt all-around better since I stopped! I never really did feel right about putting those chemicals in my body every day to trick it into thinking I was pregnant, and causing me not to ovulate. It just didn't seem very natural to me!}

Sorry if this was TMI for anyone. I promise tomorrow I will do something more light and fun!