I just found out the other day that this week is infertility awareness week, and of course I couldn't let that go by without saying something about it.
First of all, my blog-friend Callie Nicole wrote a great post titled, "When You Have an Infertile Friend" and as I commented to her, I think she hit the nail on the head. I think it is definitely worth reading if you're interested.
Once I found out this week was infertility awareness week, I did a little research. I found out that 1 in 8 couples struggles with infertility.
What?! 1 in 8? That is a huge amount! And that means that I probably have a lot more friends or acquaintances who are struggling through it in silence. And my heart goes out to them.
There is a sort of stigma attached to infertility, and for a lot of people, it is a very private thing. My advice to anyone who is struggling through it in silence is to tell at least one friend or family member. I've found that the more people I've told, the easier it has been to deal with. A lot of people I know IRL read my blog, and when I posted on the blog about our struggles, a lot of them have read it. The good thing about that is, I don't get those annoying questions nearly as often now ("So when is it going to be your turn?" and things like that). People are generally more sensitive, and I know I have a ton of people praying for me.
In my own life, I've taken the stigma away by being open about our situation. And life has been just a little bit easier since I did that.
However, I'm not saying that everyone who struggles with this should be open about it. Everyone and every situation is different. But for me, this has helped immensely.
And I have felt like I've needed to write this for a long time, to all of my friends in real life and in the blogosphere: we have come a long way on this journey, and have grown a lot. My jealous feelings are abating. And while there may have been a time a few months ago where even being around babies sent me into a bout of depression for a few days, I have moved past that. That being said, my biggest fear is that people are going to walk on eggshells around me. I'm terrified that one of my cousins or my sister-in-law, or a close friend is going to become pregnant sometime soon, and be afraid to tell me. And I don't want that at all! Maybe that's not the case, but it's something I've grown incredibly paranoid about. So I just want you all to know that I will be happy for you, and excited to welcome another baby! So please don't walk on eggshells for my sake.
I know this post was all over the place, but I couldn't let the week go by without saying something. If you have a friend struggling with infertility, I'd encourage you to read Callie's post listed above. And if you are going through infertility (even if you're not medically diagnosed yet), feel free to join our prayer chain. Just email me at mysomethingbeautifulblog@gmail.com
Yes, I so agree with you Jessica - I feel like its so much easier yo deal with when others know you are struggling! I've always verb pretty open about our struggles with most of my family and friends, and I prefer it that way - like you said, then they know to be more sensitive and they can pray for me, which is so important! I think it's sometimes hard to let go of the idea of secretly trying and then surprising your family members, but when it starts getting longer and longer I think it's better, at least for me, to be open about it. And thank you for the link! :-)
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who struggles with this only differently. She and her husband have a beautiful little boy. After a miscarriage and an extremely difficult pregnancy where she was so ill for the first 6 months she was in and out of the hospital and due to the short duration she had been at her job, she was let go for missing to much work. 3 years later they've had more miscarriages and friends have been hesitant to tell her when they get pregnant. In Feb another friend got pregnant after a miscarriage last summer. And the one thing my friend said was exactly what you just did - don't walk on eggshells, I love you and I'm happy for your blessing.
ReplyDeleteI don't know when you'll be blessed with your angel but I can see from your posts that your children will be immensely loved and wanted.