Thursday, July 29, 2010

My Parenting Philosophy: part 1 - Hot Topics

No, I do not have children yet. But there is nothing wrong with planning ahead of time, right? And this is my blog, and I will write what I want ;-) I don't care if children may be far out in my future.

So today I thought I would write some of my thoughts about the various issues of parenting and pregnancy that seem to be hot right now. I will write more posts like these as I feel like it. Probably a lot when I actually have a baby on the way :-) Some of these posts will be serious and some will probably be silly. But anyway, welcome to the first one!

Issue #1: Finding out the gender vs. being surprised. I have already felt a little judged about this one, and I'm not even pregnant! haha...I've always said that I will find out the gender with all of my children. I want to be able to buy gender-specific clothes and items for my babies (although I think I'll do a gender-neutral nursery, because I just like them. I bet those of you who know me irl are surprised that I wouldn't want to do a pink nursery for a baby girl ;-)). I want to have the name picked out ahead of time. I want to be able to visualize whether I am planning for a little baby boy or a little baby girl. And I think Luke will feel the same way. There is no way I would be able to wait the whole 9 months without finding out. Are you kidding me?! I don't know how some of you people do it!

2: Home birth vs. natural hospital birth vs. hospital birth with epidural. I have to be very delicate about how I speak about this issue, because I know it's a hot topic right now and people are very passionate about it. For myself, I know there is absolutely NO WAY that I would be able to birth a baby in my home. First of all, I want to be where there are lots of professionals there to help in case something were to go wrong. Also, I don't plan on doing the whole labor and delivery thing naturally. I have a VERY low pain tolerance, and I would rather get an epidural and be more present in the moment when I am in labor. I don't want the pain to be so intense that I can't concentrate on what is going on around me. My friend from work had an epidural before her contractions started to get too painful, and she said she barely felt anything. She jokingly said it was like a vacation. For me, I would much rather have labor and delivery like that than just a red wall of horrific pain lasting for hours and hours. Because that's what I think it must feel like. Although I see nothing wrong with doing it naturally. It's just not for me.

3: Cloth diapering vs. disposable. Cloth diapering seems to be the thing to do right now! And it's obvious why: it is much more economical in the long run, and obviously a lot better for the environment. Not to mention, are they not the cutest little things? (Picture found here ).
Will I cloth diaper my children? The answer is, I don't know. I've thought about it, and it seems like a great idea. But I don't know if I'll have the organization or motivation to do it. This one is still up in the air. I will have to do more research on this one, and then somewhere down the line when buying diapers is in my somewhat immediate future, I will do a pros and cons post :-)

4: Baby wearing vs. umm...Not. (...what's the opposite of baby-wearing??) (Image from the Moby Wrap website, here)When I first heard about baby wearing about a year ago, I really didn't even know what that meant. I thought it was just a convenient way to hold your baby. But then I found out that there was a whole philosophy that goes behind it (attachment parenting), about how it makes your baby feel so much more nurtured and safe and close to the mother/father. Which ultimately aids in their development in a lot of areas. My personal thoughts about baby wearing? I absolutely can't wait to be able to do it! I think it's a great way to carry your baby around, without having to worry about carrying a heavy car seat, or pushing around a big stroller. I think I will be able to do things around the house, at the store, or at church much more easily if I wear my baby :-) However, I am not going to do it allll the time. I think it's good for a baby to learn to be independent, too, and to be able to interact with others. So yes, I will wear my baby sometimes. But mostly because of the convenience/bonding aspect. Not because I think it will truly help with his or her development more than NOT wearing him or her.

5: Stay-at-home vs. work outside home. Obviously I would love nothing more than to be a stay-at-home mom someday. I think it is the best thing any parent can do for their children. However, I understand that in some instances, it is impossible. I will most likely have to find something to do part time or at home. I'll probably end up substitute teaching a few days a week, and possibly giving piano/flute/(very basic)violin lessons from our home. But I am passionate about spending more time with my family than anyplace else.

I'm sure there are more issues than that, but I think that's enough for one day! This was fun :-) I will probably be adding more Parenting Philosophy posts as the mood strikes me. I always say it is never too early to start planning and doing research.


  1. That is smart to start planning ahead of time!

  2. I'm with you on pretty much everything! Though Derek wants to be surprised on the gender of our first baby, but I want to know so I can prepare, so I think I've convinced him to wait until the second or third, once we already have a bunch of baby stuff, and then maybe we'll just wait until the birth day and see. :-)
    I like the idea of carrying my baby around that way too, because it seems like it would be easier for certain tasks, but does that wrap have to be so big? You can't eve see what she's wearing under there, and I heart my cute tops!

  3. I think it's so cute you did this, it is your blog and you can give your philosophies however you want :) I think babywearing is great and I cannot wait to do it but I don't think I believe in the whole attachment parenting because basically you aren't teaching your child to be able to fend for themselves (at least that is what it seams like) and with the co-sleeping stuff I just think that is an accient waiting to happen! :)

  4. Andrew's family always waited until the birth of the baby to find out the gender. My parents never did that -- and I don't plan on doing that either. For starters, like you said, you can plan better. And I seriously doubt I would be able to wait that long. lol ;)

    I am all for hospital births. We've known several families who have had problems with home births and it just scares me to death thinking something could go wrong and something may happen that could have been prevented had we been at a hospital.. Not that I am against home births - not at all. I guess it's just a preference things.. but I'm all for an epidural. :)

    I only learned about baby wearing in the past year, but I definitely want to give it a try! As for cloth diapers - eh, no thanks. I know they are suppose to be better for the environment and supposedly cheaper {which I seriously doubt once you wash a load 3-4 times each}, but I probably will never use them.

    Andrew and I never have really discussed my staying home with was just a known fact. I know every family can't do this - everyone is different. Both of our mother's stayed home with their children and homeschooled us to boot. We plan on doing the same.

    Although none of this is in our near future so far as we's exciting to think about!


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