Monday, June 11, 2012

What Waiting Has Taught Me

June 16 will mark two years of waiting for a child for me and Luke.  That's 24 months, 104 weeks, and 736 days.

At this point I feel like there isn't much I wouldn't do for a baby of my own.  It's just a very strong yearning I have inside of me.  Trust me, there have been a million times where I've wished that yearning wasn't there.  I would give anything to be more like my sister (I don't think she would mind my sharing that she has no interest in ever having kids).  But it just won't go away. 

This waiting, as hard as it has been, has taught me something so amazing about God's love! The other day it hit me:  if I am feeling this much love for a child that doesn't even exist yet, and I know I would do anything to have that child in my life, and I'd do anything for that child, how much more must God be that way toward us?

I know I will understand this more when I actually have a child of my own, because while I think I know what it would feel like, I know I really won't know the depth of a mother's love until I'm actually holding my child.  

However, this waiting must be a fraction of what the Lord feels when He is waiting for us, His children, to make the decision to follow Him. 

While this waiting isn't easy, and quite frankly I'm sick of it, God is willing to wait an eternity (or close) for us to make the decision to call Him "Father."  It blows me away when I think about it. Two years of waiting has almost been frustrating enough for me to throw in the towel.  It is completely incomprehensible how He could love us so much, that He would wait many lifetimes for His children.  

I may get discouraged when I think of how long I've had to wait.  But in the grand scheme of things, it hasn't been that long at all.  And I have a God that loves me an unfathomable amount, and He is in charge of my life!  Obviously if I've waited this long, it's for a good reason, because he definitely knows what He's doing!


  1. What a beautiful thought, Jessica - I never thought about the waiting like that! Praying for you, as always, Friend.

    I love your new blog header too, by the way! :-)

  2. This is deep Jess, and a great reminder for our patience. IT's not easy to wait for his timing. I know this first hand. I'm so impressed by your strength and patience my friend. I pray that God will bless you with a little one of your own soon.

  3. I agree--beautiful thoughts! God is so faithful to wait for us, and I know that He is with you on this journey. :)


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