Get ready for another long post...
I just want to thank everyone so much for all your prayers today! I was having a moment I guess. But I really did feel God draw me close and give me a peace today. I received some really unexpected encouraging words from co-workers which really helped to get me through the day.
Anyway, I'm writing this post because I'm walking down memory lane tonight. Luke turns 25 on Saturday...what an old man! Ha, just kidding! But every year when his birthday rolls around, it makes me remember that day in 2004. It just so happened to be the first day that we noticed each other, and the day that our love story began :-) I can't believe that was 5 years ago already! Well, 5 years ago Saturday :-)
Well, in honor of this memory, I've decided to share an excerpt from my 2004 diary. It's so cheesy, but melts my heart every time I read it. It's so weird that I knew right from the beginning that we would be together forever :-) So here you have it:
June 14, 2004
Wow, it's been a while since I've written! I'll try to cover everything that's happened in the past few months in a nutshell.
Second semester of this year [freshman year of college] was the hardest time of my life so far. My classes were really hard, and living with Danielle [mean freshman roomie] was getting more and more difficult. But me and Andy [horrible ex-boyfriend] were getting closer and closer. I think we got too serious too fast. March 22 was our 1 year anniversary. Nothing ever felt right after that night...God spoke to me. I realized that I had been really distant from Him all year. And I also realized that I think I was just settling for Andy. We fought all the time, and I never really loved him. It was hard, but I decided to end the relationship. Although it took me a few weeks to actually get up the courage to do it! And then 2 weeks later, I got back together with him. Stupid! Because 5 days after that, he broke up with me because he was still mad that I broke up with him! It was a blessing in disguise.
[Okay, the good stuff starts now!] Something kind of ironic happened Sunday night[which just happened to be May 2...Luke's birthday] after Andy broke up with me, Luke Wallace started helping with the jr. high youth group [I had been helping for about a year already]. I saw him looking at me a few times that night. I don't know what it was, but something about the way he looked at me sent chills up and down my spine.
It was so weird...Luke kept crossing my mind the next week. And at youth group on Sunday we actually talked a little bit. That sounds weird, but I've known Luke my whole life, but I've never really talked to him, because I was so shy until now. It was like I was seeing him for the first time in 19 years.
I've gotten to spend a lot of time with Luke at youth group and stuff since then. Since that night at youth group, he has broken up with Victoria [don't worry, they were never serious!] So he is available! If we got together it would be such a gift from God! He is like my dream guy! He's a Christian and he has been his whole life. Plus he LOVES movies [so did I back then]. He works at Video Safari and he watches them all the time [not sure why this attracted me to him. lol]. He also loves music. He can sing, play guitar, keyboard, and drums. Plus, he's really gentle and caring. It's so adorable how he yells at the jr. high guys all the time for picking on me. It makes me feel like I'm his, so he's protecting me. Even though I'm not...YET ;-)
I told Rachel [best friend/cousin/current neighbor] how I feel tonight, and she says she thinks Luke's interested in me, too! She says she catches him staring at me all the time. I couldn't believe it when she told me. I've known him forever, and I just notice him now. And I don't know if he really does like me or not. But I'm willing to wait on God's timing if this is right. And that is because I have a feeling that if Luke and I got together, it would be forever. Just a gut feeling I have. [Wow, I was RIGHT ON! lol]
And blah, blah, blah. There's actually more, if you can believe it. But it gets boring. I was even long-winded back then. lol. But I just love reading that journal entry. Probably my favorite one of all time :-)
I'm thinking about printing this out on nice paper or something, and giving it to Luke on our 1 year anniversary. He's never read it before, and I think he would be surprised how right-on I was about everything. I've told him before that I knew I was going to marry him before we were even dating, but I don't know if he believes me. But my journal would prove it! lol.
Anyway, Thanks again for your prayers! God is so faithful to answer them :-)