Monday, September 27, 2010

That Seventh-Grade, Insecure Feeling

I may be a little paranoid, but I have this silly fear in the back of my mind...

I feel like people are bored with my blog because I don't have a baby, or a baby on the way.

My sidebar is not plastered with ultrasound pictures or tickers counting down to when a little one will arrive.

I don't have nursery pictures or pictures of cute things that I've ordered on Etsy.

A lot of the blogs I read are written by people who are pregnant or new mothers. I call myself Good Luck Chuck. Mostly because it seems like the majority of women who are friends with me, even in blog-land, seem to be becoming pregnant rapidly. So if you don't want a baby soon, you better steer clear of me. And if you want a baby, then we should hang out sometime, because I promise, you will be pregnant in no time.

All kidding aside, I guess I'm feeling a little self conscious. Something akin to the feeling I had in seventh grade when I first got my braces, and chose neon pink for my rubber band color (what was I thinking?!)

I'm at such a weird place right now in my life. I never dreamed that at 25 (actually, a few weeks from 26), I would be one of the very last of my group of friends to not have a baby. I can slowly feel people losing interest in me because I am not a human incubator (hehe...that term was stolen from a friend). I'm talking about my real friends and my blog friends.

My self-esteem is directly related to how many comments I receive on my blog. Ha! And there is no denying the fact that commenting has been down around here lately. Maybe I'm just getting boring and people are sick of hearing about my newest favorite recipe or the fact that I love fall. But I have this sinking feeling that it wouldn't be this way if I had a baby.

Is anyone else feeling the pressure to have kids just because it feels like everyone else is having them right now? I think we're having another baby boom! That, or my Good Luck Chuck theory really is true :-P

This is not an easy stage of life. I feel like I am one step behind everyone else. I feel like I'm the only one at my junior high who doesn't own a pair of platform sneakers.
Or bibs
Or Flannel
...To wear with the bibs, of course.

(Okay, so I'm obviously referencing what was cool when I was in junior high. Again...What were we thinking?!)

Anyway, I guess I will have to find ways to fit in, even though I have an empty uterus. It is painful to be the one on the outside, especially in this case. But I was an outsider in school, and I can deal with it now, too.

Someday it will be my turn :-)


  1. lol I feel the exact same way at times. I guess it's just a thing we non-mommies have to deal with until we can join the mommy group.

    There is one blog I read that ALL she talked about is her baby and it gets boring, so I would much rather has some new recipes to try and fall decor ideas. ;) I don't think you're boring at all.

  2. I love reading your weekly updates and I drool over the delicious recipes you post! I'm sorry I don't comment as much as I did...and I'm one of those people whose blogs you are referring to...I'm sorry!

  3. I'm with both of you...and you should feel good - I'm almost 31 and don't have kids yet! It is really hard to be in this place and be really wanting kids, knowing that time is ticking away and for various reasons, it's still not the right time for my husband and I. I stink at trusting God sometimes! But I just have to keep reminding myself that He has the best plans.

    Anyways, just another non-mom saying hi and I enjoy your blog!

  4. It's so good to know I am not the only one feeling this way! Haha...

    And I didn't write this post as a plea for more comments. I realized later that it probably seemed that way. Mostly I was trying to think of a funny way to write about something that I've really been struggling with and finding very difficult in my life lately.

    No need to be sorry, Ashley! It is exciting that you are one of "those blogs" now...I hope I didn't offend you or any other pregnant women who read this.

  5. Oh, Jess, we aren't losing interest in you! Honestly, my comment counts have been down lately too, and I am one of those pregnant people! I think it's just a weird blog season for some reason. I get a little insecure too about the comments. I start to wonder if what I'm writing about (besides the baby - those are always good comment posts) is boring? But then I note that all the blogs I follow seem to have lower counts than normal too, and I feel better!

  6. hahah this was BRILLIANT! I am so with you :) Not to offend or anything... us married people have to unite! We are in a beautiful season too and soon enough we will be onto the next one. BLESS YOU!
    I posted about seasons today:

  7. Oh Jess, I'm one of those pregnant people, too, and honestly I was getting a lot more coments before I got pregnant. It may be just a phase, but also to be honest I believe that there are blog "clicks" that only comment to specific blogs ( a lot of which never comment back)... I know, it's a bit high schoolish :-( I try to document my life and the things I love, but I will admit that it is really nice to get more coments :-)

  8. Jessica!! I love your blog, and I was looking back at my post from last fall and you were one of my first blog friends!! :-) I always read your blog, and love all your fall activities! I am in the same boat as you but I am not EVEN I am VERY far behind, but just like you said, your time will come for everything. I guess you never know where life will take can be exciting but then we also focus on it to much, I know I do! I will always read your blog!! Keep posting! :-) All of us girls need to stick together and read each other blogs!! :-)When is your Birthday?! Your address? Would love to send you a little something in the mail!

  9. Oh my. I feel the exact same way. You know that:) Still, I pray and hold out that we will get our babies in His time. Even on the bad days, I hold fast to that.


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