...and not in a good way.
I've been having issues at work lately. I work with third and fourth grade special education students. I love the students! They are fabulous, and the only things that get me through each and every day. It's the adult teachers that I've been having a problem with.
I work primarily with two teachers: Mrs. W, the third grade regular ed. classroom teacher, and Mrs. C, the 3-5th grade intervention specialist (special ed. teacher). Mrs. W and Mrs. C do not get along at all. And I'm right in the middle of every one of their arguments. I'm the person they gossip and complain to. And I'm sick of it!!!
Also, you know if you are around people who gossip a lot, they are probably doing it behind your back, too. I try to stay away from all that gossip stuff, but I've had a sinking feeling that Mrs. C and Mrs. W have been talking about me a lot. They will whisper while I'm in the room. I know that I spend the majority of my day carrying out their conflicting orders, so I'm bound to upset one of them at times. If I'm pleasing one of them, I'm upsetting the other. And vice versa. Perhaps they are complaining to each other about that. Which is weird, since they act like they hate each other when they talk to me alone.
Today my fears were confirmed. Braxton, a sweet yet ornery little boy, let me know that today. Here is a conversation I had with him:
(As I walk into the classroom after my lunch break)
Braxton: Hi JESSICA! (said with an ornery, proud smile).
Me: Braxton, how did you know my first name?
Braxton: I heard Mrs. C and Mrs. W say it over and over this morning when you were with the other class.
There we have it: proof that I'm being talked about. And I guess there's no proof that they were saying bad things about me, but wouldn't it make you a little paranoid? And the fact that they were talking about me in front of students also makes me frustrated.
I'm just mad because Every day I try my hardest, I try to please everyone, and I try not to get sucked into the gossip trap.
Maybe my problem is that I try to please everyone. I need to stand up for myself!! At least I'm learning some good life lessons while I'm going through this crap.
I can only hope that next year I have my own classroom, and I won't have to be a slave to the teachers I work with. Seriously, I feel like that is how I'm treated at times. I keep telling myself that I only have to make it through three-and-a-half more months, and then I'm done. I will substitute teach next year if I have to, but I will not be taking this same job for the third year in a row. Subs get paid more, I can get to know other school districts to get my foot in the door for a job, and will get the occasional day off if I don't get called. I subbed for a few months before I started this job, and I loved it.
I'm glad God is making this decision to leave my position so easy for me.