Wednesday, October 19, 2011

All the Single Ladies

I know I already posted today, but I'm fired up about something I read on Twitter. This post has been writing itself in my head for awhile anyway, and I just had to get it out in the open.

To all my single friends:

For every time I've asked you if you were dating anyone...

Or when I've asked if it's serious with the person you're dating...

And every time I've asked if you're going to get engaged soon, or if he's going to pop the question soon...

For every time I've asked if you've set a date for the wedding...

And every time I've complained about my own relationship or any aspect of married life...

And most of all, for every time I've taken my own marriage for granted...

I want to offer my sincerest apologies. I know now how it feels.

The longer I go on without being a mother, the more I understand why these questions are too personal, and really, they're nobody's business unless you want to open up about them. Because every time someone says any of the following to me:

"No kids yet?"

"It's your turn next!"

"When will you guys be ready?"

...I die a little inside. Seriously, there isn't much that makes me feel more upset.

The only thing that's worse than that is when pregnant women complain about the normal things that go along with pregnancy like morning sickness, fatigue, weight gain, etc (of course, I'm not talking about extreme situations. I have compassion for women who have extreme morning sickness or difficult pregnancies). Whenever someone makes a petty complaint about these things, I just want to take them by the shoulders, look them in the eyes, remind them of how lucky they are, and tell them I'd give anything to be in their shoes (anything short of my God, husband, and family, that is. Yes, I have thought about this before :-P).

Oh wait, there is one thing that's worse than that: bragging that you got pregnant the first month you tried. In my opinion, unless someone asks, this is not information that needs to be shared. Seriously, after 16 months, I feel like my heart is being ripped out every time I hear someone say this.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I need to be a little more sensitive to people who may wish they were in my shoes, and not take advantage of what I have. And this post is my PSA that I wish some pregnant people and moms would do the same.

Somewhere out there, there are people who would give anything to be where we are and have what we have.


  1. I've thought about this lately too. It seems like every time I find myself getting annoyed with something someone says lately, I'm reminded of something I once did or said, and I never want to do it again! Funny how you can see things from a different perspective sometimes. I regret asking people certain questions in the past for the very same reason! I try to be more aware of what I say now, for sure, even though I know I don't always succeed. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. Great post!! As a person who still prays just for the husband, I love reading posts where married women are thankful for that blessing!

  3. Praying for you! Thanks for this PSA. I know friends that are guilty of the same thing but since I'm single and none of my close friends are married yet, I haven't heard much of this. But it's a good reminder to think before you ask! :)


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