Trying to change your life is a very daunting task. It's easiest to start with some very basic steps and build on them.
I decided step one of my journey is to simply clear all the clutter in the house. If I get the clutter and mess out of my house, maybe it will help clear the clutter and mess from my life. It's worth a shot, anyway! Boring first step? Yes. But how am I supposed to accomplish all of these exciting changes if my house is so messy I almost can't function in it? Mountains of dishes, laundry, and clutter will be weighing on my mind so heavily, I will just give up and go back to my trance-like state if I don't take care of them right away.
So did I make any progress yet? YES! I started last night. I'm not gonna lie, I spent about two hours in that dang bean bag chair telling myself, "Just start everything tomorrow." But FINALLY, I convinced myself that this perpetual "tomorrow" that I always speak of, will never end up actually coming. I was going to have to kick my butt into gear NOW!
So I did. I cleaned the entire downstairs and spent an hour on the kitchen alone. The dishes are FINALLY clean and put in their proper places (I wish our kitchen had room for a dishwasher!!!) I sprayed down all the surfaces with Lysol (who knows what kinds of crazy bacteria were living in there!) And I even cleaned out and completely organized the refrigerator. The laundry? Well, at least I made a small dent in the monstrous pile. And I wanted to do something special because I was feeling so productive by this time, so I threw together a creamy, chicken and vegetables pot roast meal for tonight. When I walked in the door after work tonight I thought, "Wow, it smells like somebody is cooking something amazing!" (We can often smell the dinners of our renters, and I must say that Mrs. B. downstairs is a good cook! Unfortunately we can also smell their cigarette smoke sometimes...) And then I remembered, "Oh yeah! That's OUR dinner!" And the best part is that at 6:30 I can plop the chicken and veggies on a serving platter, maybe make some pasta or rice, and be done with it! I don't use the crock pot too often because I don't plan ahead enough to use it. But things are changing, and I plan on using it more often, now.
After all of that, I felt GOOD. Cleaning the house is probably not a big step for most people, but for me right now, it is. It was great last night: I didn't go to bed feeling completely stressed, worthless, and guilty from laying around all night like I have so often lately.
Well my house is clean, and I can already feel the tension releasing a little from my body. However, stress from my (STILL) mile - long to-do list is making me feel uneasy and burdened. This will be my next step: to complete all the urgent "to-do's" I have to do! After that, things are going to get more interesting around here as I address one aspect of my life after another. I am committed to this!
Last night I had a lot of time to think since my mind wasn't busy doing some brainless activity. I had some revelations about why I might be going through this little slump. I'll save that for next time, though. I should be posting again this weekend since we're supposed to get 10 inches of snow, and I will probably be confined to the house with nothing to do!